Words And Their Role In Relationships?
Meaningful speech is the main property that distinguishes mankind from the rest of the animal world of our planet. The power of the word is well known, and now, with the introduction of modern technologies in our life - the Internet and mobile communications, the meaning of the word has increased many times. We already see each other less often, but we speak and write much more. The circle of our acquaintances, friends - all with whom we can maintain constant verbal contact (in writing or orally) is growing endlessly. Distance and time are not a hindrance, we are able to communicate 24 hours a day with our counterparts, no matter where they.
That’s why a lot of clients of our dating service womenukraine.net have a question: Is it more difficult or easier to in these progressive conditions? As practice shows, it is more difficult. With the increase in quantity, the quality has decreased simultaneously. The lack of visual and tactile contact adversely affects communication between people, especially if the girl and the boy are experiencing feelings for each other. In Skype you can not hug or touch, you can not see eye and facial expressions on the phone, and if communication goes by correspondence, you can not even hear intonation. You should read What Topics Should You Discuss Before The Marriage With Ukrainian Brides? Emojis somehow save the situation, but they are not able to convey what can be conveyed in a voice with its thousands of shades, by changing the speed of speech or by using pauses.
Do not quarrel in distance.
Proceeding from the above, we strongly do not recommend quarreling in absentia and trying to resolve conflicts without having the possibility of physical, visual and audio contact. Words are very important in themselves, but you know that often, in combination with words, a look, a touch, a hug, a kiss can solve if not all, then very much.
Now a lot of quarrels arise or develops by correspondence or by phone. This can be destructive for the relationship, not because communications facilities are to blame, but because there is a lack of understanding due to the limited ability to express their own emotions and experiences through technical channels. Rare people have a perfect command of written speech or can speak on the phone so well that the partner unerringly understands what they want to say and what emotional impulse they send, especially when trying to block a partner's negative reaction, because such a reaction is much more powerful and more lasting than positive. It's very easy to start a quarrel even with SMS, consisting of one word, but as soon as you want to stop this conflict, to talk to your Ukrainian girlfriends, then there is an urgent need to see and talk.
And what if you develop relationships at a distance, and direct contact is extremely difficult? - Then the "value" of each spoken or written word multiplies. It is necessary to differ extreme recklessness to allow in such conditions to kindle the conflict, because it will be difficult to repay it, and sometimes it is impossible.
And so, we see that in recent years, the "weight" of words has increased because of the specifics of contact between people using technical means. But, as before, it is important to use words correctly. Now we will explain what it means.
Each life situation has its own, specific "set of speech units" - nouns, verbs, adjectives, interjections, etc. For conflict, quarrels and expressions of negative emotions, this set is one, and for the expression of love, affection and positive emotions is another. At least that's the way it should be, but it's not always the case in reality. ( See also Three Rules For A Happy Marriage With Slavic Beauties).
It is clear that these "sets" may overlap in some ways, but they contain "key words and phrases," which are characteristic of expressing exclusively dislike or exclusive affection. These words and phrases, being often repeated in similar situations, ultimately create and fix the so-called "anchors" in the partner. As a result, a word or phrase, becoming an "anchor", acquires a value in itself and excites in a person certain emotions and a corresponding reaction, despite the semantic load or intonation.
Unfortunately, many young people use the same "set" in relationships, both for expressing positive emotions, and for expressing negative ones. This is one of the important reasons for the emergence of difficulties, when trying to resolve conflicts.
For example, every man begins a quarrel:
"Excuse me, but you ..." (further the flow of accusations or insults) or "You know, my dear ..." (then again accusations or insults).
Thus, the "positive phrases" often used to express negative emotions-"excuse me" and "my dear" -become the very "anchors" to which the partner reacts vividly, and this reaction is far from positive. As a result, it turns out that word combinations that should cause positive emotions in the partner become carriers of a "negative charge" and provoke a negative reaction.
In the future, the attempt to apply the phrase "excuse me", in its direct purpose - in order to ask for forgiveness or resolve the conflict, to the surprise of the guy does not cause the partner the expected positive response.
Dear guys, try not to confuse "sets", and if it already happened, then pick up for an apology other phrases that you did not use during conflicts. For example, instead of "excuse me" say - "forgive me, please."
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